Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Economics of Heaven

Most inhabitants of heaven are retired. As a result, the GDP of heaven is ridiculously low, which is why the streets of Heaven are covered in gold foil. Heaven has a lot of welfare in it.

Without workers, all the stores in heaven are closed. However, if a citizen of Heaven needs something, with a word they can get what they came for. In 1976, Freddie Perren and Keni St.Lewis published a theory, set to verse, that "heaven must be missing an angel" which implied that heaven then had some method of enumerating angels. Since angels are eternal, the purpose of enumerating them must be open to question, if they are numerically constant. The theory therefore implies that the number of angels varies over time. More significantly, it implied some sort of personnel department or accounting system, which suggests that spreadsheets or databases are in regular use. If there is a Personnel Department, presumably renamed 'Eternal Resources' in the 1990s, then this would detract from the infinite pleasantness that is integral to our notion of heaven. This leaves us with two possibilities: either Perren and St.Lewis were fibbing, in which case no administrative records exist and their theory should have read 'heaven could be missing an angel'; or, alternatively, heaven has always outsourced its statistical services to Hell. If the latter is true, then tiresome administrative tasks, including angel migration counts, comprise some of the extremely dull procedures administered by the residents of Hell. Unless evidence emerges that Saint Lewis has been demoted (ie. is no longer saintly), the outsourcing hypothesis should be favoured. The notion that tedious administration occurs in-house is plainly untenable and heretical.

Recently GOD has been moving into prostitution, offering 72 Virgins to all the pious martyrs who slaughter his creations in his name. Sex sells and GOD knows heaven's no paradise without a bed full o'babes. Rumours about where these virgins are coming from are many, but it is hoped they will increase gross revenue and not place an undue burden on the welfare budget with all their un-baptised children.

In response to the global recession, Vice President Jesus H. Christ has recently proposed the legalization of marijuana in several Heavenly districts. Christ stated, "We've been dead too long without this", and that "a move such as this would lower the overall stress level and create much needed jobs for Heaven's citizens."

In March 2009, St. Peter announced plans for tighter security on golden-gated outposts. The announcement came in response to media frenzy over the surge of illegal Purgatory immigrants.

 


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You Really Look Marvelous Today!

Yours True Liars,

SoundaryaNayaki സൌണ്ടാര്യനായകി சௌந்தர்யநாயகி
Anna Justin അണ്ണാ ജസ്റിന്‍  அன்னா ஜஸ்டின்    

We are the perfect liars; don't try to find any truth in our words!

You never shared a cup of tea, a glass of wine,  or any matter which we love!
Then, how can you expect us to share the truth! Are you a stupid?

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OOPS, you may be looking for more lies, read this document to become a perfect liar: http://the.secret.angelfire.com/intelligence.pdf


Great, you may have a desire to make everyone look like an ass. This document may help you to  'MAKE EVERYONE LOOK LIKE AS AN ASS' : http://the.secret.angelfire.com/intelligence.pdf

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With malice toward none;
With charity for all;
With firmness toward right,
Shine with justice and truth!
Bloom forever, O beloved fellow men and woman,
From the dust of my bosom!

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No one is hurt by doing the right thing!

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Why Math has been hated by some? Because it requires them to think and forces them to give the correct and exact value. Because it has a clear distinction of right and wrong. Most people love to speak about any issue but hate to accept that they're wrong. That's the beauty of Math. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

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No one is poor but he who thinks himself so.

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The secret behind getting right answer answer from nature lies in putting right questions to her!

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SIVASHANMUGAM'S INCLUSION PRINCIPLE STATES THAT NO TWO THINGS CAN BE WITHOUT A COMMON PROPERTY.

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Set all books on fire because no knowledge in them can be repeated and no knowledge in them should be repeated. Do not listen to your teachers or pastors, or mom and dad because none of their knowledge can be repeated and none of their knowledge should be repeated. But, do not forget to buy our books because we need your money. Do not forget to send your children to our schools and colleges, because we need your money. Listen to us, because we want you and your children to be our employees, slaves.

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